Best Child Logical Responses Shared by Parents

Language Barrier

“We moved to France from Texas when I was 6 and my little brother was 3. The first day that we played outside with the French kids, my brother came running inside to my mother hysterical, bawling his head off! The reason, he said, was, ‘Their mouths are broken!'” (source).

Sharpies

“You can’t use the Sharpie, you’re only six. It’s too permanent for you.’ Said by his 9 year old sister.” (source)

The German Village

“Our 5 year old daughter was having trouble in school communicating and the school said we should ask her to tell us stories at home to help. So we went home and pointed to a picture of a German village and asked her ‘what is happening in this picture?’ She said ‘I can’t tell you’ We ask why not She said ‘Because I don’t speak German’. (source)

Coin Flip

“We lived in an apartment for a while when our daughter was about 4, and we were all getting ready to go swimming. My husband and I began arguing over something and — stubborn as we both are — this became a lengthy debate. Impatient 4-year-old walks in with a quarter she had taken out of her piggy bank and says, ‘You guys should just flip a coin so we can go to the pool.’ 14 years later, when one of us wants the argument to end, we say ‘Let’s flip a coin and go swimming.’ ;)”. (source)

Cross Walk Sign

“My friend’s daughter thought the school crossing sign (US) featuring 2 stick figures crossing the road was a ‘No crossing the street without a lunchbox’ sign. She was very concerned that the cops were going to get her.” (source)

“Grass”

“I came from a non-religious family, and had never even been told who or what ‘god’ was. When I was in Kindergarten and overheard other kids talking about god, I assumed ‘god’ was another way of saying grass because they both started with G. I continued to simultaneously use ‘god’ to describe grass for a few months afterwords until my mother corrected me…” (source)

Grey Roots

“My mom dyes her hair, and my 6 year old niece developed an obsession with her grey roots. She wouldn’t stop asking about them until my mom re-dyed her hair. This went on for several months. Finally, my dad figured out what it was all about. Months earlier, probably because she was concerned about some health issues he was having, my niece had asked him ‘Grandpa, are you going to die?’ He responded ‘no, not for a long time. Not until I am really old and have grey hair.’ So in trying to comfort her, he had instead made her think grey hair was a sure sign someone was approaching death, and I guess she also thought somehow the grim reaper could be warded off with hair dye.” (source)

Drinking And Driving

“I got really upset when my dad drank soda while driving the car. ‘No drinking and driving’ was drilled into us. What does a 7 year old know about alcohol?” (source)

That’s Deep

The other day my 5 year old said, ‘Daddy, when you have a happy dream be sad; when you have a sad dream be happy. You’re sad because the happy dream isn’t true, and you’re happy because the sad dream isn’t true.’ (source)

“Potty Dance”

“When my cousin was 2 (let’s call him Jay), he thought the classic ‘If I can’t see you, then you can’t see me!’ type of thing. He seriously believed this for pretty much everything, but he also believed he needed to scream for whatever reason and it led to some hilarious situations. Once at his older sibling’s birthday party, he really wanted more cake but was told ‘no’ so he ran off throwing a fit and what not. A few minutes passed and one of our younger cousins (around 5 at the time) wanted to cut her own piece so she put the cake on the chair and got a slice (our grandma was supervising and it was a crappy plastic knife). Well they walk off and completely forget to put the cake back, so Jay of course noticed and he bolted towards it. He picked up as much cake as he could (hugging it against his body) and bolted, eyes closed, screaming at the top of his lungs until he ran face first into a wall. Another time when he was still being potty trained he started doing his ‘potty dance’ and his mom asked him if he needed to go potty. He said no and continued to play with his toys, until eventually he couldn’t hold it anymore. He walked into the middle of the room, took off his pants and squatted down, put his hands over his eyes, and screamed as he ripped one of the biggest farts I’ve ever heard (loud enough you could hear it over his screaming). Afterwards he got up, put his pants back on, and continued playing. Turns out he just had some bad gas.” (source)

Interesting Logic

“If a lady had for example 3 children she had 3 boobs etc… As a child I guess i just knew a lot of families with 2 kids, therefore their mom had 2 boobs. The only experience I had with boobs at that time were like cow utters and dogs feeding their puppies so it made total sense. 6 puppies, 6 nipples.” (source)

Personal Conversation

“Driving a friend’s 4 year old, yesterday. She was yammering away in the back seat about nothing in particular. Me: Who are you talking to back there? Her: Myself. Me: OK. What’cha talking about? Her: I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.” (source)

The Fairy Godmother

“I was reading the story of Cinderella to my then four year old daughter. When we got to the part where the fairy godmother appeared, she stopped me and said ‘Mom, I know this story is fiction’. I was pleased; she’d been paying attention when I talked about the difference between fiction and fact!

Then she went on: ‘I know because in real life, fairies only come when you lose a tooth.'” (source)

Intense Chutes And Ladders Game

“My daughter started celebrating after a hard fought game of Chutes and Ladders. She runs up to my husband. DD: Daddy, I won, I won! DH: You know, DD, you really should be a good winner. Do you know what a bad winner is? DD: The person who doesn’t win?” (source)

Free Money

“For reasons I still can’t fully make sense of, as a kid,I thought that spending money resulted in you ending up with more money afterwards. I think my confusion was that if I my mom paid for something with a $20, for example, she might get back several bills and probably some change back as well. For kid me, it seemed that having several bills made you ‘richer’ than having a single 20 dollar bill. Dumb kid logic right there.” (source)

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